My schedule is not a flexible calendar of infinite possibilities. I know that might sound shocking. It's weird, right? That a grown woman, a mother of three, someone who works from home, would have a schedule that is tightly wound around a few stable pins, and if one of those pins is removed the whole thing collapses under the weight of itself?
NO. THAT IS NOT WEIRD. THAT IS HOW IT IS FOR EVERYONE.
So why is it whenever someone calls me to reschedule an appointment or move something around, they act shocked and offended that I cannot immediately accomodate their first suggested reschedule time? WOE.
I just had the most annoying phone call with someone from a doctor's office. Weeks ago, I scheduled an appointment for next Tuesday. This appointment was rescheduled once. Then, this morning, the office called to move it again. There was no way for me to make it work. "I'll be out town," I said. I actually said it three times while the woman on the other end of the phone struggled to make sense of the words.
"Great, I'll put you down for Thursday!"
"Actually, I'll be out of town."
"Well, I'm just going put you down for Thursday."
"Um, no, that's not going to work. I'll be out of town."
"So... Thursday, then?"
"Nope. Out of town."
[long pause, deep sigh, unecessary snark tone]
"Well, when are you coming back?"
Then she proceeded to offer me every timeslot that conflicts with every school pick-up time, everyday, for eternity. Then, she offered a 4:15 slot. Awesome. Yes, I will bring all three kids with me to the headache doctor. So we can watch a migraine unfold in realtime?
We finally settled on a date and a time, where I will only have to bring one child. So. Perfect?
THEN, I get ANOTHER call from ANOTHER doctor's office. This time, the nurse is confused as to why I called.
"Did you need something else from us?"
"I'm actually calling you back. You left me a message? Twice yesterday. About needing to be referred to a rheumatologist?"
"Oh. Right." [pause] "All your labs were normal."
"Well, good! So why the referral?"
"Because of your symptoms. And pains."
"Pains?"
"Well, the doctor thought that since everything is normal and you have these symptoms, you should see a rheumatologist."
"What symptoms? That I'm tired a lot? I have three kids, one of whom kicks me in the mouth all night."
"I'm going to give you some numbers."
"And if I call these numbers and they ask why I'm making an appointment, what do I say? All my labs are normal but I'm tired because I never sleep?"
[pause] "Just tell them of all your symptoms"
"I HAVE NO SYMPTOMS. MY LABS WERE NORMAL. WHAT IS GOING ON?"
"Well, I guess you don't have to follow up with a rheumatologist, but..."
"The labs were normal, right?"
"Yes."
"We have concurred I have no 'pains', right?"
"Yes."
"Then, I'm going to go with the normal part and forget all about the rest of this. Cool?"
"Cool."
You guys. Is today National Be Annoyed By Your Doctor's Office Day? What gives? I have a stomach ache now, but I don't really want to talk to a doctor about it. I might get referred to someone who wants to take out my eardrums, but only on Tuesdays or Fridays at 2:45 or 3:15pm.
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